Ideas for a Company Christmas Party: Should You Invite Partners?
Ideas for a Company Christmas Party: Should You Invite Partners?
The plus one question gets decided by default in most organizations, usually by repeating whatever happened last year, and it has more effect on the evening than almost any other choice. It also doubles your catering bill.
Worth deciding deliberately. I'm Magical Katrina, an award winning magician and mentalist, and I want to set out what partners genuinely do to a company party, so the decision is made on purpose rather than by inheritance.
It Halves Your Budget Per Head
Start with the arithmetic, since it drives everything else. Inviting partners doubles your numbers, which means the same budget buys half as much per person.
That's a real trade: a better evening for staff, or an acceptable evening for staff and their partners. Neither answer is wrong and organizations rarely state the choice explicitly, which is how a party ends up mediocre for twice as many people. Work out the per head figure both ways before deciding, since the difference is usually starker than expected.
Partners Improve Behavior
The genuine argument in favor, and nobody says it out loud. A party where colleagues have brought their partners is a better behaved party, with less drinking, fewer incidents, and considerably less of whatever your HR team is quietly worried about.
That matters more in some organizations than others, and in a year following a difficult party it matters a great deal. If conduct is a concern, inviting partners addresses it more effectively than any amount of messaging about expectations, and without anybody having to say so.
Partners Reduce Mixing
The genuine argument against, and the one organizers underweight. Colleagues who brought somebody spend the evening with that person, which means the cross team mixing a party is partly for simply doesn't happen.
Somebody who came alone circulates and talks to people from other departments. Somebody who came with their partner has a companion all evening and talks to fewer colleagues than they would have. If your objective is people from different parts of the organization meeting each other, partners work directly against it.
Coming Alone Can Feel Conspicuous
Worth considering, since it's rarely discussed. At a partners party, staff who attend alone are visibly the people who came alone, which for some is entirely fine and for others is a reason not to attend at all.
That's a quiet exclusion that doesn't show up in any feedback, since nobody writes to say the plus one policy made them skip it. If a meaningful proportion of your workforce is single, recently separated, or simply doesn't want to bring anybody, a partners party is a less welcoming event than it appears from the inside.
Partners Know Nobody
Practically relevant for what you program. A partner has heard about these colleagues for years, has met almost none of them, and is now making conversation with strangers for an evening.
That's a considerable ask, and a party that leaves them to it is one they'll decline next year, which affects staff attendance too. If you're inviting partners, program something that reaches people who don't share the organization's context, since anything depending on internal reference points, in jokes, or company news excludes half the room by design.
Decide What the Evening Is For
The question that resolves it. If the party is a thank you to staff, partners are a generous addition and a budget decision. If it's a chance for the organization to come together, partners work against it. If it's largely about goodwill and attendance, partners usually improve both.
Most organizations haven't decided, which is why the plus one question feels difficult. Answer it first and the rest is arithmetic.
Alternatives Worth Considering
Worth knowing, since it isn't binary. Some organizations alternate, with partners invited every other year, which gives you both kinds of evening across a cycle.
Others hold a staff only party and a separate family or partners event at a different time, frequently a daytime one, which serves both purposes properly rather than compromising on one evening. And some invite partners to a specific portion, such as the reception or the meal, with the later part being staff only. Each has trade offs and all of them beat defaulting.
Whatever You Decide, Say It Clearly
Practically important. Ambiguity on the invitation produces some people bringing somebody and others not, which gives you the mixing problem and the conspicuous problem at once.
Be explicit, give the reason briefly if there is one, and stick to it. If you're not inviting partners this year because you'd rather spend the budget on a better evening for staff, say that, since people accept a stated reason considerably more readily than an unexplained change from last year.
Frequently Asked Questions
What's the real cost of inviting partners?
Half your budget per head, since doubling the numbers means the same money buys half as much per person. That's a genuine trade between a better evening for staff and an acceptable one for staff and partners, and organizations rarely state the choice, which is how a party ends up mediocre for twice as many people.
Is there an argument in favor nobody mentions?
Behavior, since a party where colleagues brought their partners involves less drinking, fewer incidents, and considerably less of what HR quietly worries about. In a year following a difficult party, that addresses conduct more effectively than any messaging about expectations, and without anybody having to say so.
What's the main argument against?
Mixing, since colleagues who brought somebody spend the evening with that person and talk to fewer colleagues than they would alone. If your objective is people from different parts of the organization meeting each other, partners work directly against it.
Does it affect staff who'd come alone?
Yes, and it's rarely discussed, since at a partners party people who attend alone are visibly the ones who came alone, which for some is a reason not to attend. That's a quiet exclusion that never shows up in feedback, because nobody writes to say the plus one policy made them skip it.
How does it change what we program?
Considerably, since a partner has heard about these colleagues for years and met almost none of them, and is making conversation with strangers all evening. Anything depending on internal reference points, in jokes, or company news excludes half the room by design, so program something that reaches people without the organization's context.
How do we actually decide?
By answering what the evening is for. A thank you to staff makes partners a generous addition and a budget decision, a chance for the organization to come together means partners work against it, and an evening about goodwill and attendance usually benefits from them. Most organizations haven't decided, which is why it feels difficult.
Are there alternatives to choosing?
Several: alternate years so you get both kinds of evening across a cycle, hold a staff party and a separate daytime family or partners event, or invite partners to one portion such as the reception with the later part staff only. Each has trade offs and all beat defaulting to last year.
How should we communicate it?
Explicitly, with a brief reason if there is one, since ambiguity means some people bring somebody and others don't, giving you the mixing problem and the conspicuous problem at once. People accept a stated reason considerably more readily than an unexplained change from last year.
Decide It Rather Than Inheriting It
Among ideas for company Christmas party planning, the plus one question is the one most often settled by default and most consequential when it is. Partners halve your spend per head, improve conduct noticeably, reduce the cross team mixing a party is partly for, and make attending alone conspicuous for the people who would.
None of that points one way. What matters is deciding what the evening is actually for, choosing accordingly, considering the alternatives, and saying clearly on the invitation what you've chosen.
Reach out with your date and numbers, and let's talk about what would work for the room you'll have.